Beginnings

There was the sensation of falling.  Darkness surrounded the consciousness as it slipped through space, a tunnel of dark upon dark neither cold nor warm.  Freefall through abandoned space.  Broken images danced on the edge of this awareness like the memories of a life that had been lived, or was being lived or perhaps even would be lived, there but not there, false images in the shadows of the mind.  The concept of time had eroded long since to be replaced by an infinite being, falling, falling, aware only of self but not of identity of purpose.  Thoughts clouded the mind, grasping at meanings where only empty space still existed.  The momentum was slowing with the realisation that every understanding had gone. There was no name, no concept of physical form, just the blind panic of an insane emptiness, slowing down and stalling, as if the falling was now a rising to some unknown pinnacle of nothingness.  Slowing down, slowing down and then gradually it finally stopped.  Everything was gone, all emotions, all knowledge, except a vague awareness of being, floating weightless in an empty void with no belief or purpose……

A flicker of a thought began to permeate the dark.  I must fall, I must not resist the fall, let go and continue the empty journey.  And bit by bit, the consciousness began to slide again, and the darkness moved faster and faster, the images returning, and like an atom falling through the dust of creation the mind started to form substance again.  Racing now like a comet through the night time sky, dancing with light, a realisation of self forming gradually as the journey became the meaning and that was all the hope the mind needed to survive.  ‘I exist’ he thought, but then all went blank.  Reality ended and nothing remained.

Read on……………..

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8 thoughts on “Beginnings”

    1. You know Perpetua, this was based on a drug experience, but I have had the deep meditation experiences you talk about, but not for a long time. I had a time in my life when I could clear my mind and well… it was deeply spiritual, but since I had kids and left my wife, the energy has not been there and I miss that. I really do. Perhaps that should be my New Years Resolution, to find inner peace again.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The idea of let go completely and dive into the abyss of total emptiness is terrifying. The notion that there is nothing to hold besides the knowing that “I exist” demands emotional freedom that not many of us possess.
    Your story takes the reader out of balance, the way only an amazing story can.

    Like

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